Joy isn’t something that just happens—it’s a choice we make, even in the hardest moments of our lives.
In 2022, my husband and I faced one of the most challenging times in our marriage. We had grown apart, and for a while, it seemed like we might not find our way back to each other. We went through coaching and counseling, and at the same time, I was working with Rose, who asked me to reflect deeply on what I wanted for myself and my life.
I told Rose something that became a turning point for me: “A year from now, I’m either going to be happily married or happily divorced, but either way, I’m going to be happy.”
That realization was powerful. It reminded me that joy isn’t dependent on circumstances—it’s a choice we make, even in the face of difficulty. I decided that no matter what happened, I was going to choose joy and focus on becoming the person I wanted to be.
That didn’t mean ignoring the pain. It was, without a doubt, one of the most emotionally draining and challenging times I’ve ever been through. But it also became an opportunity for growth.
Through that experience, I learned to be kind and compassionate—not just to my husband, even when I was angry, but also to myself. I chose to honor my emotions, allowing myself to feel the sadness, frustration, and hurt instead of suppressing them. Because here’s the truth: if we don’t feel sadness, we can’t fully understand or appreciate joy.
In the end, my husband and I worked through our challenges, and today we’re happily married. We’ve been together for over 24 years, and I can honestly say that this experience strengthened our relationship in ways I couldn’t have imagined. But more importantly, it taught me that choosing joy isn’t about being happy all the time. It’s about staying true to yourself, honoring your emotions, and making a conscious effort to find light, even in the darkest moments.
If you’re going through a tough time, I want to encourage you to choose joy—not by pretending everything is okay, but by committing to the person you want to be. Let yourself feel all the emotions, but don’t lose sight of the light. Joy is always there, waiting for you to choose it.
Call to Action:
Revisit Chapter 9 of Beauty from Chaos for more stories and insights on choosing joy. Remember, joy isn’t the absence of challenges—it’s the decision to find light, even when life feels hard.
